Song written by me about us 3 "Together Strong"

Our tale continues

Been a long while since I wrote an entry so its not as good or detailed but I'm not really in the best of places mentally today. Living with grandma had certain elements to it that were garunteed. 1. You will be getting several beatings in a day, your 3yr old flesh will be broken and bleeding by the time she finishes beating the "evil" out of you 2. You will not be fed, you will go hungry unless its friday, then Charlie brings his donuts , otherwise eat chicken scratch dog food and grass 3. You will be molested and raped on a regular basis and if you fight it too bad still happening. 4. Various types of torture will be used on you for thier entertainment. When my older brother finally made it to school age his teachers we very concerned about how he looked and how he behaved, scared of anything that moved suddenly or made a louder noise. The state interviend and by then they had already thrown me in the fire place to burn me for spilling a cup of milk , so the previously unattended 3rd degree burns on my arm were infected when the state arrived and they took all 3 of us to the hospital. As an adult I have read the reports all 3 of us were covered in cigarette burns on our feet and legs, battery acid burns on our backs along with deep scars from brutal beatings, severely malnurished and riddled with worms. for me they also had to list my 3rd degree burns and destroyed vagina and womb from adults raping me , we spent a total of 4 months in hospital so umm yeah thats age 3. a social worker took us away and they separated us from big brother as we werent following adults as our leader but rather big brother. He was sent to an orphanage on his own. neither myself or baby brother talked even though we should have been by then, I knew words and when spoke to understood, for some reason speach wasnt somethign we had at the time.Age 3 and baby bro age 2 we were both still not toilet trained as when your child lives outside in a chicken coop there is no need to potty train. we were sent to a very very strict foster home, they had several other kids along with us. Rules were strict and one thing out of place in your behaviour was a strapping with a belt, having never been raised with manners or taught proper human being skills , baby bro and I were beat quite a bit witht he leather strap or at the table a solid rap on the knucles by a ruler. from birth until this point we did not know kindness we did not know adults were meant to be good to us and teach or guid us, all we knew is adults caused pain in multiple ways, so it was safest to sit oon your bed and do nothing. The father of that house started playing uncle charlies game with me at night when the house slept and went further by sticking things in me. I didnt know it but he was doing the same to my brother. when the social worker came one day to take us away I saw tht man led away to a police car, so we were once more sent to the hospital to be mended. when they xrayed my head they discovered I had been beaten so badly in the head I was leaking cerebral fluid out my nose. we ended up going to a wonderful foster home from there , those people end up being the one and only good thing our young life would ever know.But back in 1975 the state of IL did not allow foster parents to adopt the kids in thier charge, so we were constantly taken away from them to go on a trial stay at potential parents homes, never chosen always sent back, back and forth months at a time our little lives knew no stability. Finally a couple chose us and kept us. The first year was perfect I was 6, but as the first year neared its end mother divorced father for cheating and suddenly the person I had known as a loving mother became my new abuser. She had taken on a baby just before the divorce so when they split she took us 2 girls and left baby bro with the father. we lived in single wide trailer trash home now , mom was always screaming at me and making me do chores and tasks way abouve my age ability. Beatings were once again daily and her boyfriend decided i was his to have as well. I was not allowed to play outside , not allowed friends at school, had to come straight home and at age 6 babysit a 2yr old. I had to do all the cooking cleaning and yard work, and anything I didnt do to her standards I got beat. At school i was severly bullied and at home the same, and this went on for the next 6yrs. Then one day i had enough and at age 12 took a razor blade and proceeded to try to end myself. I had no friends no family who loved me and the life had become unbareable to me. I was found and saved and when better beaten severely for getting mom in trouble. I constantly tried to run away to escape my hell of grown men raping me as her various boyfriends did that, beatings and bullyiing . Finally at age 14 I ran away and it stuck. By then I had a 24yr old boyfriend of my own choosing and I moved in with him aged 14. our first year together was fine we partied hard drugs alcohol you name it, if it numbs the pain great. then the bf started cheating on me which for some reason made him turn on me, he would get home super late or super early...and start in on me for no reasn, beating me as he force fucked me. Eventually one day I ended up pregnant. This is enough for now i cant go any firther for now its too hard more tomorrow.